Modern life gives people more opportunities than ever to express themselves, build personal identities, and share their opinions publicly.
But it also raises an uncomfortable question: Is society becoming more self-centered?
Social media encourages people to measure attention through likes, followers, views, and comments.
Personal success is often displayed publicly, while conversations can turn into competitions over who is right, who is heard, and whose experience matters most.
In the Mind Over Matter conversation, Gerard Victor explores whether modern culture is encouraging people to place themselves at the center of everything—and what that shift may mean for empathy, responsibility, and genuine human connection.
Are We Really Becoming More Self-Centered?
Society may not be becoming universally more selfish, but modern culture can make self-centered behavior more visible and rewarding.
Social media, personal branding, public validation, and constant comparison often encourage people to focus more heavily on their image, comfort, and success.
The real concern is not individuality or ambition. It is whether personal freedom and achievement remain connected to empathy, accountability, and genuine concern for others.
What Does a Self-Centered Society Look Like?
A self-centered society is one in which personal attention, comfort, success, and validation regularly take priority over empathy and shared responsibility.
Self-centered behavior does not always appear as obvious arrogance. It may look like:
- Listening only to prepare a response
- Treating disagreement as a personal attack
- Expecting emotional support without returning it
- Avoiding accountability in the name of personal boundaries
- Measuring personal worth through public attention
- Caring about an issue only when it becomes personally relevant
Someone may appear highly confident while still depending heavily on approval from other people. In that case, self-centered behavior may come from insecurity rather than superiority.
Why Modern Life Can Feel More Self-Focused
Human beings have always wanted recognition. What has changed is that recognition can now be measured publicly.
A person can see exactly how many people viewed, liked, shared, or reacted to something they posted. Over time, this can change the purpose of self-expression.
Instead of asking, “Is this meaningful?” people may begin asking, “Will this perform?”
Instead of experiencing a moment privately, they may start thinking about how that moment will appear online.
This does not mean everyone who uses social media is self-centered. It means modern platforms can reward visibility, comparison, and constant self-presentation.
Watch: Is Society Becoming More Self-Centered?
The Short introduces the central question behind the discussion: Are people losing empathy, or are self-focused behaviors simply becoming more visible?
Individualism Is Not the Same as Self-Centeredness
Wanting independence does not automatically make someone selfish.
A person can value personal freedom, ambition, self-expression, and healthy boundaries while still caring deeply about other people.
The difference becomes clearer in everyday behavior.
- Healthy independence says:
“I need to make my own decision.”
- Self-centeredness says:
“My decision is the only one that matters.”
- A healthy boundary says:
“I cannot take this responsibility on right now.”
- Indifference says:
“Your needs are never my concern.”
Healthy ambition focuses on creating something meaningful. Self-centered ambition treats other people mainly as tools, connections, or opportunities.
The issue is not whether people value themselves. The issue is whether they can value themselves without reducing the importance of everyone around them.
How Validation Culture Changes Behavior
Validation can make people feel noticed and appreciated. But it becomes harmful when external approval replaces personal reflection.
A person may begin to believe that:
- A popular opinion must be correct
- A highly viewed lifestyle must be desirable
- A public relationship must be successful
- A visible achievement must be more valuable
- A lack of engagement means personal rejection
This can create dependence on attention.
The more people depend on outside approval, the more carefully they may shape their choices around the reactions they expect to receive.
A healthy sense of identity can appreciate recognition without needing constant applause.
Does Social Media Make People More Self-Centered?
Social media can amplify self-centered behavior, but it is not the only cause.
The same platforms that encourage comparison and self-promotion can also help people:
- Build supportive communities
- Share educational information
- Discover new perspectives
- Promote independent creative work
- Stay connected across distance
- Raise awareness about important issues
The effect depends largely on how people use the platform and what kind of content they repeatedly consume.
The problem begins when online attention becomes a substitute for real connection.
Relationships may then be judged by what they provide:
- Does this person support my public image?
- Can this interaction become content?
- Does this relationship improve my status?
- Does this person always validate my choices?
When people are treated primarily as audiences or resources, genuine connection becomes more difficult.
Empathy Requires More Than Agreement
Empathy does not mean agreeing with every opinion or accepting every behavior.
It means making an honest effort to understand what another person may be thinking, feeling, or experiencing.
Empathy may involve:
- Asking questions before making assumptions
- Listening without redirecting the conversation
- Acknowledging harm even when it was unintentional
- Considering how a decision affects other people
- Allowing someone else’s success to exist without comparison
- Offering help without turning the moment into self-promotion
Modern communication often encourages quick reactions. People respond to short clips, headlines, and partial conversations before understanding the wider context.
But empathy requires patience.
It asks people to pause and consider:
What might I be missing?
Am I trying to understand, or am I only trying to win?
Personal Responsibility Still Matters
It is easy to blame algorithms, social media, modern culture, or younger generations for declining empathy.
But society is also shaped through everyday choices.
Each time someone listens carefully, accepts responsibility, gives credit, or supports another person without seeking recognition, they resist self-centered culture.
The opposite is also true.
When people excuse their own behavior while judging everyone else, demand support they never return, or treat every disagreement as disrespect, they strengthen the behavior they criticize.
The question is therefore not only:
“What is society becoming?”
It is also:
“What kind of behavior am I contributing to society?”
Five Ways to Become Less Self-Centered
1. Notice How You Listen
Pay attention to whether you are genuinely listening or simply waiting for an opportunity to bring the conversation back to yourself.
Relating through personal experiences can create connection, but not every story needs a comparison.
2. Separate Boundaries From Avoidance
Healthy boundaries protect time, energy, and well-being.
They should not become excuses to avoid accountability, difficult conversations, or shared responsibilities.
3. Do Something Without Public Recognition
Help someone privately. Give credit without attaching your name to the result. Support a person without posting about it.
Not every meaningful action needs an audience.
4. Question Your First Reaction
Before responding to disagreement, ask whether there may be information, history, or personal experience outside your view.
Understanding another perspective does not require abandoning your own.
5. Use Social Media Intentionally
Notice whether your digital environment encourages reflection or constant comparison.
Follow people who introduce thoughtful perspectives.
Watch complete conversations when a short clip raises a complicated issue. Step away when online attention begins affecting how you value yourself or others.
Watch the Full Mind Over Matter Conversation
The question of whether society is becoming more self-centered cannot be answered through one short clip alone.
The full Mind Over Matter episode expands the discussion and gives viewers more context around empathy, modern behavior, personal responsibility, and how people relate to one another.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is society becoming more self-centered?
Modern culture can make self-focused behavior more visible and rewarding, particularly through social media and personal branding. However, this does not mean every person is becoming selfish.
2. What is the difference between confidence and self-centeredness?
Confidence allows a person to value themselves while respecting others. Self-centeredness consistently places personal comfort, attention, or success above the needs and experiences of other people.
3. Is self-care selfish?
No. Self-care supports physical and emotional well-being. It becomes selfish only when personal comfort is repeatedly used to ignore reasonable responsibilities or the well-being of others.
4. How can people develop more empathy?
People can develop empathy by listening carefully, asking questions, considering different perspectives, accepting responsibility, and helping others without expecting attention or recognition.
5. Where can I watch Mind Over Matter episodes?
You can watch full Mind Over Matter episodes, Shorts, and related conversations on Ashwin Gane’s official YouTube channel.
Final Thought
Society may not be becoming completely selfish, but modern systems often make self-focus easier to display, measure, and reward.
The solution is not to reject ambition, individuality, or self-expression.
It is to keep those qualities connected to empathy and responsibility.
A healthy society needs people who understand their own value. It also needs people who remember that they are not the only ones whose experiences matter.
When the world encourages everyone to stand at the center, the real challenge is learning how to notice the people standing beside us.
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